I took a much-needed nap today. Thank you, BellaGrace, for cooperating with my tired body.
It’s time to start preparing homemade salad dressings ‘cuz I hate olive oil and vinegar concoctions paired with any dish that isn’t Italian.
While I’m not interested in eating all raw foods {I realized today}, raw food cuisine is exciting to explore. We also have a raw restaurant a couple towns over that I’ve only been to once, but am wanting to visit again.
Feeling mildly better, but not enough to get me excited. Still tired and sluggish with sore toes and feet.
What I ate today is pretty pitiful by any health novice standards. I’m on a long, slow, winding road towards change.
I have never been a health nut and I don’t plan on becoming one, now {maybe a little nutty on some level, but never about my health. I was an asshole vegan, once, way back in the day – but again, that was not about my health}. The idea of fanaticism about anything turns me off.
Eating my bowl of zucchini tonight felt like an act of rebellion _not submission_ to these changes. Like a big fat, Fuck You Change! I’m gonna eat like crap even when I’m eating something healthy! So NAH! Really, I know there are tastier foods I could choose – but I’m just so fraking mad that I even have to think about it.
While I was writing this post, Hal was in the kitchen making a raw almond based hummus. OHMYGOD, it is delicious. So now, for dinner I had steamed zucchini, raw carrots, rice cakes and this hummus:
Almond Hummus Recipe
Makes about 2.5 cups
Ingredients:
2 cups almonds, soaked for 12 hours, then rinsed
2/3 cup raw organic tahini
1/2 cup water
2 cloves garlic
Juice of 2 small lemons
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley or cilantro
Directions:
Combine all ingredients in a food processor and puree.
Hal is a huge help with all of this. A bit of a home-grown nutritionist, vegetarian/vegan chef, he’s also getting interested in raw foods. His palate is more accepting of diverse flavors than my own {more sophisticated, shall we say?}, so a lot of his dishes are hit or miss for me. But oh my word, I love it when he makes a dish that’s yummy to my tummy.
I don’t think I could make these changes without the support of my partner. It makes me happy that he understands me so well and shows it so easily.
Withdrawing from processed foods is hard.
I’m not looking at this change as “I have to control what I eat.” I’m looking at it like this: I have choices, what are my choices? I have a lot of food choices. I can eat a variety of foods. Here are my choices. Now choose.
Instead of: I can’t eat anything I want! I have to control myself from eating all those foods that will make me sick! ControlControlControl! I can’t eat anything anymore! WHAAAAAA!
Fuck that. The reality is this:
There are a lot of foods that I can eat. Sometimes, I will over indulge on foods that taste good – no worries, it’s okay. This is transition. There is always room for imperfections, mistakes, and failure – no matter what is going on in my body. I have the rest of my life to get this Major Life Change right. I don’t need to know everything about eating healthy right now. It doesn’t need to happen over night. It will come in pieces. Slowly. And softly.
I know all of this from experience.
