IT FEELS LIKE ALL of my stressors regarding Max & Bella are derived from them having to go to school. They both hate going to school – Max more than Bella. I hear complaints about:
… we get too much homework, my teacher didn’t give us time to play outside, my teacher only gave us 10 minutes outside, my teacher took away outdoor time as a punishment, my teacher calls them “Indians” instead of Native Americans, I hate logging how much I read – why don’t they trust us?, I hate having to read for points, I hate writing when I can’t pick the topic, I’m not interested in the topics they choose for us to study, how is this math relevant?, I don’t remember anything they teach us because it’s NOT MY CHOICE OF INTEREST, I hate getting up early.
The morning routine is annoying and stressful. Picking them up from school, OH, meltdowns aplenty there. Making them go to bed by 9pm, because they have to get up early for school, ANNOYING. I hate it. I feel like the only option I have is to complain about it until they are old enough to be home alone all day while Hal & I are at work. When I try to “be positive” while engaged on the subject, it feels un-natural, insincere, and forced.
I am having a hard time changing MY attitude regarding school so have ZERO ability in helping my children to cope with all of their feelings regarding school. Usually, I’m right there with them, agreeing, prolly dropping a few F bombs, and occasionally inserting the sentiment that every experience is what you make of it. Probably not the most parental way to handle the situation. I have no clue.
My kids, especially my son, are hyper-aware of all that is wrong with the framework of education as they currently are experiencing it.
Home schooling during high school is looking good. You know who else hated school? Albert Einstein… but he still had to go through it. (my favorite thing to remind them)
The reason we don’t home school now, is because Hal and I… you know, I was going to explain this but realized, not the point of this writing.
The reason for expressing all this isn’t because I want advice on how to make home schooling work. When I’m calm and honest with myself, home schooling is not my goal right now, dreaming about it is more of a way for me to escape having to learn some skills that would help my kids and myself cope and thrive with our current life experiences. Home schooling would come with it’s own challenges. I get that. And I don’t want those challenges more than I want the ones I currently have. Not yet, anyway. And maybe never. What I want is insight/advise on how to respond to my children when they are moaning and groaning about school, because I actually do agree with them – I remember feeling the same way as a kid! School destroyed my desire to learn. It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s that I figured out learning can be fun and interesting. Right now, It’s important to help them cope with their feelings of having to do something they don’t 100% love. I need help with my attitude so I can help them with their’s! Telling them to suck it up, get over it, shut the fuck up I don’t want to hear it, isn’t going to work for me. I need words. Words that help them without shutting them down.
And just as important… I also need action. Right action. I have a feeling this is going to require stepping outside of my comfort zone to actually do something different with my children that will help them.
Oh, company on this journey is helpful, too. Just knowing I’m not alone gives me hope that others are seeking answers, too!
On the, Psychology Today, website, I found this article, to get me started in right thinking on this issue. Any other resources would be highly appreciated! And before you judge me harshly for not already knowing how to deal with all of this already, remember, I am teaching myself as an adult.